Shaving Private Ryan
By James Whittall
This may surprise you, but at least one-sixth of the search engine referrals we receive each month are for men - ordinary guys, like you and me - who want information on how to shave their privates.
Squirm all you like. There's an immense subculture of eroticists who claim a bald bag makes for better sex.
Indeed, when I went online to research this subject, I counted no less than a dozen serious human sexuality web sites with entire sections devoted to the art of sensual shaving.
Unfortunately, few of these resources offers tips on how to safely and hygienically perform this most delicate of procedures. Never one to shrink (pun intended) from the outrageous, I hereby offer my thoughts on the subject.
Personally, I think genital shaving is ill advised. A botched job can lead to intense irritation or, worse, permanent falsetto. Don't say I didn't warn you.
And a Warning
If you have sensitive skin that ordinarily reacts to shave creams or gels, then do not ever shave your pubic area or testicles. This region is much more sensitive than your face. Your allergic reaction could be spectacular.
Some Helpful Pointers
- Don't use an electric shaver. It'll mulch your scrotum.
- Never remove pubic hair with wax. Waxing your so-called bikini line is perfectly acceptable. But genital waxing can cause infection, and I'm told it hurts like the bejeezus.
- Never remove pubic hair with chemical agents or wipe-away sprays. (Does "baked beans" mean anything to you?)
- Always shave when you're sober and in a fully alert and attentive state of mind.
If you have long pubic hairs, trim them with clippers or scissors. Electric clippers are best for this purpose. If you must use scissors, take a seat before you do the deed. The last thing you need is to slip on the bathroom floor and perforate your pouch.
Take a long, warm bath to open the pores of your skin. Pat your genitals dry with a towel. Apply a generous layer of moisturizing shave cream at least five minutes before you shave.
Put a new blade in your razor. If you intend to shave a large area, such as pubic and thigh regions together, keep another new blade handy. Change blades as soon as the razor starts to drag.
Shaving the Pubic Region
This is, of course, the area around your penis and testicles. On the first stroke, shave "with the grain" to remove most of your hair. Then make a second pass "against the grain" for a smooth, close shave. Never shave any area more than twice, unless excruciating razor burn is something you enjoy.
When you're finished, carefully cleanse the area to reduce the risk of infection. Follow with an application of non-stinging astringent aftershave. Cleanse and exfoliate the shaven area at least once a day to remove sweat, oil, and dead skin, and to prevent ingrown hairs.
If you're not very active, go as long as possible between shaves to reduce skin irritation. A daily application of baby powder or talcum powder will keep the area dry and relatively itch-free.
If you exercise regularly, shave at least four times a week and cleanse-exfoliate twice a day. In fact, you probably shouldn't shave your pubic region if you don't want to follow this regimen.
Shaving the Penis Shaft
According to guys who trim their posts, this creates the miraculous visual effect of an extra inch or two. If "stud horse" doesn't quite describe your manly bearing, and you can't stomach the idea of suction apparatus or surgery, then this cosmetic option may be the answer to your prayers.
Shaving the penis shaft is a fairly easy task to perform, as long as you do so with particular care. Start at the hair line and work your way in single strokes to the base of your penis. For optimal length effect, trim or shave your pubic region, testicles, and inner thighs.
Combined with body waxing, a shorn package can give you the sleek appearance of a Greek god. With or without love handles.
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